DIY or Nobody else will ever do it

DIY sounds super cool when it‘s about crafted useless things you can get at Berlin‘s fancy flea markets, but when DIY means really to do it by yourself or nobody else will ever do it, it‘s not that fancy any more. The house you are living inside is falling apart, but actually you have no capacity and also not really the skills to change it, because you are attending plenums after plenums how to prevent an eviction and you are writing speeches about how important it is to have self-organised spaces like yours, while you forget that your shower is broken since weeks.
I am dreaming about an utopia and I know exactly how everything will be there, but back to reality I am actually not able to fix the shower, even if a shower would be a part of my utopia. Sometimes I spend just so much time in thoughts about the future, thoughts about what to change in big dimensions, that I have no energy left to deal with the present. So I stay a bit smelly inside my broken DIY house, hanging curtains before the windows, where the cold is coming from, than to make the effort to fix them. Always with the thought: Why spend energy on that, if I don‘t know if we will still be here next month?